Generally speaking, I`m dutiful to my mother and opt for obeying her. However, she chose a certain girl to be my future wife, but I`m not pleased with her choice although that girl comes from a good family and enjoys good character. Should I obey my mother or choose another girl that lives up to my expectations?

Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds.

One must obey their parents in whatever is in compliance with the teachings of Sharia and within one`s capacity. However, you aren`t to blame for not marrying that girl, but it is better that you tell your mother about that and it is preferable that you perform Istikharah prayer. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

Is it permissible for the wife to give the Zakah(obligatory charity) of her money to her poor husband?

Yes, it is permissible for the wife to give from the Zakah of her money to her poor husband.

Is it permissible to pay the expiation of an oath to a charitable party as it feeds the poor and needy such as Tkiyet Um Ali?

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and May His Peace and Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions.

There is no harm on authorizing someone to handle the expiation of another to the poor and needy, since Shafiee's jurists stated that authorizing someone for the purpose of distributing Zakah, expiation and vow is permissible as stated in [Mughni Al-Muhtajj, vol.3 pp.237]. At last, the intention of the person who intends to authorize someone else suffices in this regard. And Allah Knows Best.

Is Iddah (waiting period) incumbent on an old lady whose husband had died?

Upon the death of the husband, Iddah is incumbent on the wife regardless of her age.