Is it permissible to offer an absentee funeral prayer?

Yes, it is permissible to offer an absentee funeral prayer.

Is Iddah (waiting period) incumbent on an old lady whose husband had died?

Upon the death of the husband, Iddah is incumbent on the wife regardless of her age.

Does the deceased hear the supplications or recitations of those visiting his/her grave? And does making constant supplications for the deceased who didn`t adhere to performing the prescribed prayers ameliorate his/her affliction?

Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds.

In principle, the dead hear the living since it has been rigorously authenticated that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) ordered the bodies of the idolaters slain in the Battle of Badr to be buried. He then approached them and called them one by one and said, “Have you found what your Lord promised to be true for we have found what our Lord promised us to be true.” ‘Umar asked him, “O messenger of God! Why do you speak to lifeless bodies?” The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) replied, “By the One Who has sent me with the truth! You do not hear my words better than they do except that they cannot respond.”{Related by Bukhari & Muslim}.

However, not all the deceased are in the same situation because Allah the Almighty says, "Before them is a Partition till the Day they are raised up."{Al-Mu`minun, 100}. Moreover, supplication reaches the deceased. And Allah knows best.

Sometimes I receive a message containing a picture of someone desecrating the Noble Quran. The sender asks recipients to send that message to their contacts as an act of defending the Quran. What should I do when receiving such messages?

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds.

You don`t have to circulate that message, because this isn`t the proper way to defend the Quran. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.