Does the deceased hear the supplications or recitations of those visiting his/her grave? And does making constant supplications for the deceased who didn`t adhere to performing the prescribed prayers ameliorate his/her affliction?
Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds.
In principle, the dead hear the living since it has been rigorously authenticated that the Prophet (PBUH) ordered the bodies of the idolaters slain in the Battle of Badr to be buried. He then approached them and called them one by one and said: "Have you found what your Lord promised to be true for we have found what our Lord promised us to be true." Umar asked him: "O messenger of God! Why do you speak to lifeless bodies?" The Prophet (PBUH) replied: "By the One Who has sent me with the truth! You do not hear my words better than they do except that they cannot respond." [Agreed upon].
However, not all the deceased are in the same situation because Allah The Almighty Knows: "Before them is a Partition till the Day they are raised up." [Al-Mu`minun/100]. Moreover, supplication reaches the deceased. And Allah Knows Best..
Should the Zakah(obligatory charity) giver tell the poor recipient that this is the Zakah of his money?
No, he shouldn`t. But, the Zakah giver should make an intention in his heart that it is the Zakah of his money when he gives it to the poor.
Is it permissible for a woman to use a contraceptive without telling her husband although he wants to have as many children as possible and she can`t care for them?
All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
If the pregnancy is harmful to the woman, it is permissible for her to use a contraceptive; however, this has to be backed by a medical report from a God-fearing doctor. In addition, you had better inform your of what you are doing to avoid dispute. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
Is it permissible for a woman to shake hands with her brother-in-law?
It is forbidden for the woman to shake hands with her brother-in-law because he isn`t a Mahram(unmarriageable) of hers.