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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

هذا المقال يعبر عن رأي كاتبه، ولا يعبر بالضرورة عن رأي دائرة الإفتاء العام

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Summarized Fatawaa

Should a woman who broke her fast because of delivery make up for missed fasting days before the next Ramadhaan, and what is the expiation due on her in case she delayed making up for them ?

She should make up for missed fasting days before the start of next Ramadhaan if possible, but if she didn`t while being able to, then she is obliged to make up for them along with feeding a needy person for each delayed day of the missed fasting days. However, if she wasn`t able to make up for the missed fasting days before the start of next Ramadhaan, she has to fast a day for every day that she missed, and no ransom is due on her.

Is it incumbent on a wife whose husband hasn`t gone to bed with her(for sexual intercourse) for many years to observe `Iddah(waiting period) upon his death?

Upon the death of the husband, a wife is obliged to observe the `Iddah even if he hadn`t slept with her because she inherits him.

Is committing Zina (Adultery and extramarital sex) without the intention of getting pregnant or deflowered considered full Zina?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May Allah`s peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
 
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) says: "The eyes commit fornication, the hands, the feet, and the private parts." [Musnad Ahmad, P.3912]. Sheikh Shu`aib `Arn`oot graded this Hadith as sound. What you are asking about is far graver. Generally speaking,  sincere repentance erases sins, good deeds erase bad deeds, and fearing Allah stops one from committing this heinous act. In addition, the devil is man`s worst enemy and whoever surrenders themselves to the wolf will be eaten. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

Is it permissible for the guardian, or the father of the child to hit the latter in order to teach him/her good manners?

It is permissible for the guardian to hit his/her child for teaching them good manners once they become ten years old provided that it is done mildly, harmlessly and without intimidation. Actually, such punishment is to be employed gradually i.e. after: asking, warning, and scolding. As for the teacher, he isn`t allowed to hit the student unless the latter`s father approves of it, and it is done according to necessity without intimidation, or harm.