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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

هذا المقال يعبر عن رأي كاتبه، ولا يعبر بالضرورة عن رأي دائرة الإفتاء العام

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is it incumbent on a father to cover the marriage costs of his son if the latter couldn`t afford them?

The son should seek the help of his relatives in order to convince his father to do the aforesaid, and the father should make sure that his son doesn`t commit fornication through helping him to get married, and Allah will reward him for doing so.

Is it permissible for a woman who is in her `Iddah (waiting period) due to the death of her husband to go out and mix with non-Mahrams (Marriageable men)?

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His Peace and Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions.

A woman in such a situation is only allowed to leave her house for a sound reason such as visiting the doctor, and she is only allowed to mix with her Mahrams (Non-Marriageable kin) since it is permissible for a woman, whether in her `Iddah, or not, to mix with her husband and Mahrams. However, she is allowed to accept condolences, and answer inquiries about her situation after such a calamity. And Allah Knows Best.

Is it permissible for a young man and a young woman to enter into a covenant as a married couple without having a true seclusion (Khalwah) until their marriage contract is officially concluded?

The relation which isn`t based on a marriage contract is forbidden, and entering into a covenant as a married couple is unaccounted for and is from the evil suggestions of the devil.

I`m a Muslim woman and have fallen in love with a Christian man. Supposing that he embraced Islam. Is it permissible that he proposes to me?

Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
The relationship between you two is forbidden; however, if he wants to embrace Islam then he should pay a visit to a Sharia court. Once he becomes a Muslim, we will address the matter of proposing to you. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.