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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

هذا المقال يعبر عن رأي كاتبه، ولا يعبر بالضرورة عن رأي دائرة الإفتاء العام

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Summarized Fatawaa

I`m a god-fearing woman. I`m two months pregnant but my husband insists that I have an abortion?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May Allah`s peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
 
It isn`t permissible for you to abort the fetus unless it endangers the mother`s life. Therefore, try to convince your husband to change his mind and encourage him to pay us a visit. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

What is the ruling on aborting a fetus affected by thalassemia?

Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
If this is recommended by a trustworthy doctor who is god-fearing and knowledgeable, then it is permissible to have an abortion because some types of thalassemia are dangerous while some aren`t. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

Is it permissible to make up for the missed fasts of the deceased?

A deceased`s missed fasts should be made up for by his/her guardian. It is also permissible to make up for the missed fasts of a deceased relative, and to pay a ransom in expiation for the latter`s missed fasts, which is feeding a needy person for every missed day. However, the guardian`s permission need to be sought by the non-relatives of the dead to fast on his behalf. And Allah Knows Best.

I work at a company that provides cash advances of 800 dinars, 1000 dinars, or 1200 dinars, depending on the employee’s years of service. An administrative fee of 40 dinars is deducted from the amount in the first month, and the remaining amount is repaid in installments. What is the ruling on this, knowing that the deducted amount (40 dinars) is fixed?

We fear that the deducted amount may be a means of circumventing interest (Riba). If the deducted amount is equal to or less than the actual administrative expenses, then there is no issue, as some scholars permit the borrower to bear the costs of documenting and managing the loan. However, piety suggests refraining from taking this loan under these conditions, as dealing with private individuals and companies is not the same as dealing with the state, which spends from the public treasury. And Allah Knows Best.