Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

هذا المقال يعبر عن رأي كاتبه، ولا يعبر بالضرورة عن رأي دائرة الإفتاء العام

Article Number [ Previous | Next ]

Read for Author




Comments


Captcha


Warning: this window is not dedicated to receive religious questions, but to comment on topics published for the benefit of the site administrators—and not for publication. We are pleased to receive religious questions in the section "Send Your Question". So we apologize to readers for not answering any questions through this window of "Comments" for the sake of work organization. Thank you.




Summarized Fatawaa

What is the ruling on combining prayers at the Musala (Place for prayer) of a shopping center because of heavy rain, knowing that some people come from outside that center?

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds.

If there is hardship in going back to that Musala at the time of Asr or Isha` prayers, then it is permissible to combine prayers in twos only (Duhr with Asr and Maghrib with Isha`). Kindly consider calling us. And Allah Knows Best.

What is the best charity to offer on behalf of the deceased? Is it giving food, reciting Quran, giving money or supplicating? What is the best charity to offer on behalf of dead father and dead husband? What is the best continuous charity to offer on behalf of the deceased?

Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. The deceased benefits from every righteous deed offered on his/her behalf, be that continuous charity, reciting Quran or a pious son praying for him/her. However, the best righteous deed is performing Haj and Omrah on their behalf especially if he/she hadn`t performed that ritual for it remains a debt on them. The evidence on this is that Ibn 'Abbas (Allah be pleased with them) reported: A man came to the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) and said: "Messenger of Allah, my mother has died (in a state) that she had to observe fasts of a month (of Ramadan). Should I complete (them) on her behalf? Thereupon he (the Holy Prophet) said: Would you not pay the debt if your mother had died (without paying it)? He said: Yes. He (the Holy Prophet) said: The debt of Allah deserves more that it should be paid."{Related by Muslim}. And Allah the Almighty knows best.

Is the maternal uncle of one`s mother a Maharam?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of The Worlds. May His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
Mother`s maternal uncle is a mahram. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
 
* In Islam, a mahram is a member of one's family with whom marriage would be considered haram, concealment purdah, or concealment of the body with hijab, is not obligatory; and with whom, if he is an adult male, she may be escorted during a journey, although an escort may not be obligatory.

Someone asked me to pay off his debt on his behalf as a loan, without any compensation. When I went to the creditor, he told me that if I paid the full amount at once, rather than in installments, he would give me a certain discount. Is this permissible? And if he applies the discount, to whom does the deducted amount belong?

If part of the debt is paid and the creditor forgives the remaining amount, the waiver is valid, and the remaining debt is no longer the responsibility of the original debtor. The person who paid the debt on behalf of another has no right to claim any portion of the original debt. And Allah Knows Best.