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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

هذا المقال يعبر عن رأي كاتبه، ولا يعبر بالضرورة عن رأي دائرة الإفتاء العام

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is hair extension permissible?

All Perfect Praise is due to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds 

It is impermissible for the man and the woman to apply a human`s hair as extension, but using artificial hair is permissible for the married woman after obtaining the approval of her husband, and provided that non-Mahrams (Marriageable men) don`t see her. And Allah Knows Best.

What is the expiation for perjury?

One who commits perjury should repent, seek Allah`s forgiveness and offer an expiation which is: feeding ten indigent persons, or clothing them, or giving a slave his freedom, but if that is beyond his means then, he should fast for three days. Allah, The Almighty, Says in this regard (What means): "Allah will not call you to account for what is futile in your oaths, but He will call you to account for your deliberate oaths: for expiation, feed ten indigent persons, on a scale of the average for the food of your families; or clothe them; or give a slave his freedom. If that is beyond your means, fast for three days. That is the expiation for the oaths ye have sworn. But keep to your oaths. Thus doth Allah make clear to you His signs, that ye may be grateful." [Al-Ma`idah/89].

Is it permissible for a woman who is in her `Iddah (waiting period) due to the death of her husband to go out and mix with non-Mahrams (Marriageable men)?

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His Peace and Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions.

A woman in such a situation is only allowed to leave her house for a sound reason such as visiting the doctor, and she is only allowed to mix with her Mahrams (Non-Marriageable kin) since it is permissible for a woman, whether in her `Iddah, or not, to mix with her husband and Mahrams. However, she is allowed to accept condolences, and answer inquiries about her situation after such a calamity. And Allah Knows Best.

Is Buying a house in installments through banks?

Taking a loan from interest-based banks is prohibited and considered a major sin. Instead Getting a loan from Islamic banks is considered Murabaha and can be used as an alternative, provided all the necessary Islamic conditions are met. And Allah Knows Best.