Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

هذا المقال يعبر عن رأي كاتبه، ولا يعبر بالضرورة عن رأي دائرة الإفتاء العام

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Summarized Fatawaa

What should the man, whose wife wasn`t on good terms with his mother, do?

Both the mother and the wife have rights on the man in question; therefore, each should be given her rights justly, and he should resort to wisdom to please both of them and make reconciliation. And Allah Knows Best.

My husband has deprived me of visiting my family and is threatening to take my 7-month-old baby girl. Is he entitled to do so?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
Your question is unclear, but family visitation is a legitimate right of yours. However, if he deprives you from this, try to convince him with wisdom and fair preaching. If there is a problem between you two, try to fix it. As for your daughter, you are most entitled to her custody anyway. Even if he divorced you, the girl remains under your care so long as you don`t get married. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

Is performing Umrah an obligation for who is capable. Is he accountable for not performing it in this case?

Umrah is an obligation once in a lifetime for every Muslim. When physical and financial ability is present, it is preferable to perform Umrah, as well as Hajj. If one can afford to perform Umrah but not Hajj, then they should begin with Umrah, especially since Hajj nowadays is not accessible to everyone who wishes to perform it. In contrast, Umrah is more open and easier to undertake. And Allah knows best.
 
 
 
 
 

My mother is 70 years old and wishes to perform Hajj and Umrah, as she has never done so before. However, she also takes care of my ill father and is afraid of falling ill herself. What should she do?
 
 
 
 
 
 

If this is the obligatory Hajj – meaning she has not previously performed Hajj or Umrah – then it is permissible for her to go even without her husband's approval. However, she must travel with a Mahram (a male guardian) or a trustworthy group of women, and she should leave someone to care for her husband and attend to his needs. And Allah Knows Best.