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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

هذا المقال يعبر عن رأي كاتبه، ولا يعبر بالضرورة عن رأي دائرة الإفتاء العام

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Summarized Fatawaa

I`m a married young man. I fell in love with a widow and proposed to her but her family refused because they feared that this would have an adverse impact on the future of her children. However, we entered into unregistered marriage and told my family and even my wife about it. I`m a person who fears Allah, The Almighty and want to clear myself from any liability before Him, The Exalted. What should I do?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of The Worlds. May His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
It is imperative that you proclaim this marriage to preserve rights. Therefore, you must register it in an Islamic court. A second marriage isn`t forbidden, however, if the unregistered marriage had taken place without the consent of the woman`s guardian nor the presence of two honorable witnesses, then it is considered void and your relationship with this woman is forbidden. Therefore, you must conclude a new marriage contract with the approval of her guardian and the presence of two honorable witnesses. We advise you to fear Allah and adhere to the teachings of Sharia in this regard since sinful conduct is that which turns in your heart (making you feel uncomfortable) and you dislike that it would be disclosed to other people. And Allah The Almighy Knows Best.

A person vowed to slaughter a sacrificial animal. Is he permitted to eat from it?

If the vowed sacrificial animal was for the sake of Allah, and the one who vowed didn't specify then its meat should be distributed only among the poor and needy similar to distributing Zakah of Al-Fiter so neither him nor his dependents permitted to eat from; however if his vow was to made a banquet and invititing his relatives and others; then he must bring up as much as he can from its meat for them. In addition, he is permitted to eat from it in a reasonable basis. And Allah Knows Best. 

What is the best manner in distributing the meat of the Aqeeqah?

It is better to divide all of it as cooked meat amongst the poor and the needy. Dividing it into three portions is a Sunnah, but it is permissible to keep all of it provided that a portion, even a small one, is given to the poor and needy (one kilo for example).

A man has raped a woman and she gave birth to a baby boy. To whom should that baby be attributed?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
 
First of all, the adulterer must be punished according to the rules of Sharia and the baby isn`t attributed to him. Rather, it is attributed to the mother. This adulterer has committed a grave sin and incurred the wrath of Allah. We advise him to make sincere repentance to Allah and pray that Allah forgives him. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.