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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

هذا المقال يعبر عن رأي كاتبه، ولا يعبر بالضرورة عن رأي دائرة الإفتاء العام

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is it permissible for the children of a deceased father to settle his debt from the Zakah(obligatory charity) money due on them?

It is impermissible to use the Zakah of one`s money for settling the debts of the deceased. However, children should settle the debts of their deceased parents out of filial piety.

A Christian woman wants to marry a Muslim man through an unregistered marriage contract and for a specific period because of certain circumstances. She is an adult and wants to know the correct procedure so as not to make any mistakes. What is the correct thing to do in this regard?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
Every marriage should be conducted through court in order to preserve the rights of the spouses and avoid any accusations. In fact, a person shouldn`t be ashamed of what is lawful. Rather, he/she should overcome those circumstances and start in the correct way. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

A man who was on travel prayed Duhr as four Rakhas upon leaving Tafilah heading to Amman. However, on his way to Amman, he prayed Asir as two Rakhas (Shortened). Is what he did correct from an Islamic perspective?

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds. May His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
 
What he did is correct; he is liable for nothing before Allah The Almighty, since combining and shortening prayers during travel are two separate concessions. Therefore, it is permissible for a traveler to shorten prayer without combining it with another. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

What is the best charity to offer on behalf of the deceased? Is it giving food, reciting Quran, giving money or supplicating? What is the best charity to offer on behalf of dead father and dead husband? What is the best continuous charity to offer on behalf of the deceased?

Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. The deceased benefits from every righteous deed offered on his/her behalf, be that continuous charity, reciting Quran or a pious son praying for him/her. However, the best righteous deed is performing Haj and Omrah on their behalf especially if he/she hadn`t performed that ritual for it remains a debt on them. The evidence on this is that Ibn 'Abbas (Allah be pleased with them) reported: A man came to the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) and said: "Messenger of Allah, my mother has died (in a state) that she had to observe fasts of a month (of Ramadan). Should I complete (them) on her behalf? Thereupon he (the Holy Prophet) said: Would you not pay the debt if your mother had died (without paying it)? He said: Yes. He (the Holy Prophet) said: The debt of Allah deserves more that it should be paid."{Related by Muslim}. And Allah the Almighty knows best.