Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

هذا المقال يعبر عن رأي كاتبه، ولا يعبر بالضرورة عن رأي دائرة الإفتاء العام

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Summarized Fatawaa

A man married a woman at the Islamic Centre in Brussels through a regular marriage contract. However, the husband left her for two years now and never provided her with financial support. Currently, she is staying in Amman, Jordan, and wants to remarry. Is her first marriage considered void and what should she do to remarry lawfully?

All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
This issue is within the jurisdiction of the Islamic courts and they have the final say regarding the dissolution of the first marriage contract if there is valid ground for that. Therefore, her first marriage remains valid unless a court decision says otherwise. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

Is it permissible for a father to divide his property amongst his children except one under the pretext that he has paid for the latter`s tuition? This is knowing that his other children were given the opportunity to pursue their education but didn`t because they were educationally poor. Moreover, is he allowed to give his other children who have helped him with growing his business?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May Allah`s peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
The father should be just between his children as regards gifts, in case they had similar circumstances. However, if any had a special merit, then it is permissible for the father to take that into account to be just. For example, giving his children who have helped in making his fortune and received no reward for that or giving the little ones because they haven`t taken as much as the older ones or giving the sick child who is unable to make a living. The most important thing is achieving justice. Moreover, the father is not interdicted by any of his children, and he is free to do whatever he wants with his money and Allah will call him to account as regards observing justice between his children. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

Is it permissible for a woman to sit with her brothers –in- law?

It is impermissible for a woman to sit with her brothers-in-law, and it is also impermissible for a person to have a Khulwa(seclusion) with his sister-in-law.

My father passed away before my grandfather. Am I entitled to any share of my grandfather`s inheritance?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
According to Islamic courts, you are entitled to what is called obligatory bequest (The distribution of estate to grandchildren who has either lost a parent before the death of the grandparents). Therefore, if your grandfather left such bequest for you, then take that share or else it is more prudent to take nothing. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.