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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

هذا المقال يعبر عن رأي كاتبه، ولا يعبر بالضرورة عن رأي دائرة الإفتاء العام

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the ruling on singing and listening to it while accompanied and unaccompanied by musical instruments?

Singing and listening to it unaccompanied by musical instruments is permissible as long as it isn`t practiced as a profession and is done by a man to other men, or a woman to other women with maintaining that no temptations are involved. The words of the song should be Islamic, and if temptation was likely to happen, then the singing becomes definitely forbidden. Temptation here means: whatever leads to committing a sin. In Islamic Sharia, singing accompanied by musical instruments such as the lute and the like is forbidden, and listening to it as well. The reason behind that is the fact that the musical instrument itself is forbidden. However, striking the tambourine and singing Islamic songs are permissible in weddings, circumcisions and the like.

It was found out that a man divorced his wife for the third time in 2005, but they continued cohabiting as man and wife. However, when they realized that what they were doing was unlawful, they came the Iftaa` Department in 2009 and were told that they can`t be together. What is the position of Sharia on this couple?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
Her Iddah* period starts after the third divorce. As for the continued cohabitation, it is unlawful because being ignorant about the rulings of Sharia while in Dar Al-Islam* is no valid excuse. If a baby came as the fruit of this unlawful consummation of marriage, then a judge of Sharia has the final say in this regard because lineage is a serious matter. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* ʿIddah: a specified period of time that must elapse before a Muslim widow or divorcee may legitimately remarry. The Qurʾān (2:228) prescribes that a menstruating woman have three monthly periods before contracting a new marriage; the required delay for a nonmenstruating woman is three lunar months.
* Dar Al-Islam: designates a territory where Muslims are free to practice their religion, though this often implies the implementation of Islamic law, whereas Dar al-Harb represents those lands ruled by non-believers

Is it permissible for my brother, whom I had suckled, to conclude a marriage contract between his daughter and my son?

Such marriage is impermissible since one`s nephew in this situation is considered an uncle to one`s daughter; consequently, he is the brother of her father by suckling. In such cases, the people in question should go to court to prove the suckling.

Who is required to fast?

Any adult, sane, and hardship enduring Muslim person is required to fast unless there were prohibiting conditions such as menstruation and confinement.