Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

هذا المقال يعبر عن رأي كاتبه، ولا يعبر بالضرورة عن رأي دائرة الإفتاء العام

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Summarized Fatawaa

A young man who works for a conventional bank has proposed to me. Is it forbidden to marry him because he works there?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
Since the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so there will be temptation in the earth and extensive corruption."
Marrying such a person is permissible because he is a Muslim, and Allah may bless him with another job in which no usury/interest is involved. And Allah The Most Exalted Knows Best.

What is the ruling on uncovering the eyes while wearing a Khimar?

Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
There is no sin in uncovering the eyes, but it is better not to. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
 

A man married a woman at the Islamic Centre in Brussels through a regular marriage contract. However, the husband left her for two years now and never provided her with financial support. Currently, she is staying in Amman, Jordan, and wants to remarry. Is her first marriage considered void and what should she do to remarry lawfully?

All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
This issue is within the jurisdiction of the Islamic courts and they have the final say regarding the dissolution of the first marriage contract if there is valid ground for that. Therefore, her first marriage remains valid unless a court decision says otherwise. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

I have concluded my marriage contract at a Sharia court; however, one day I was talking to my fiancée over the phone and she got on my nerves leading me to utter one divorce. This is knowing that I can`t tell my her father because he is very strict and will not accept that at all. What is the best course of action that I should pursue in this situation?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
When divorce takes place before the consummation of marriage it is called Ba`in divorce* (Minor irrevocable divoce), so your wife is considered unlawful to you until you conduct a new marriage contract and pay Mahr* , and you should visit the Iftaa` Department in order to know the correct Fatwa. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

* Minor irrevocable divorce Talaq Al-Ba'in Binona Soghra: It is a divorce where the husband cannot take his ex-wife back unless with her consent, conducting a new marriage contract and paying new bridal wealth Mahr.

* In Islam, a Mahr is the obligation, in the form of money or possessions paid by the groom, to the bride at the time of Islamic marriage. While the Mahr is often money, it can also be anything agreed upon by the bride such as jewelry, home goods, furniture, a dwelling or some land.