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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

هذا المقال يعبر عن رأي كاتبه، ولا يعبر بالضرورة عن رأي دائرة الإفتاء العام

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is it permissible for one to shake hands with his uncle`s daughter?

No, it isn`t because he is a non-Mahram (Marriageable) to her.

Is it permissible for a young lady to wear a short skirt, which is above her knee, over pants?

All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
In Islam, it isn`t permissible for a woman to wear garment revealing her beautiful shape and arousing men`s sexual desire. This is whether the garment is transparent or skin-tight showing the size of her private parts. A Muslim woman`s garment must be loose and not revealing since she will be accountable for this before Allah The Almighty on the Day of Judgement. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best. 

Is it permissible for a wife to refuse to go to bed with her husband (for sexual intercourse)?

It isn`t permissible for her to do so unless for a sound reason.

1- A young man whose father and grandfather are dead. Unfortuntly, he passedaway leaving a mother, two sisters and a brother. Do his paternal uncles inherit him? 2- A man died leaving daughters, a wife, brothers, a mother or no mother. It is well known that the daughters inherit two thirds and the wife one eighth. To whom does the rest of the estate go and what is the evidence on that from the texts of Sharia?

All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
1- The full brother or the paternal half-sibling disinherits the paternal uncles. The paternal half-sibling takes one sixth and because they are from the Asabah (Male relatives on the father`s side) of the deceased they take the rest of the estate. The proof of this is that Ibn ‘Abbas (May Allah Be Pleased with them) reported God’s Messenger (PBUH) as saying: "Give the shares to those who are entitled to them, and what remains over goes to the nearest male heir." [Agreed upon]. In this case, nothing is left to them.
2- The brothers take the rest of the deceased`s estate and the full brother disinherits the paternal half-sibling, and the proof of this is the aforementioned narration. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.