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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

هذا المقال يعبر عن رأي كاتبه، ولا يعبر بالضرورة عن رأي دائرة الإفتاء العام

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Summarized Fatawaa

I have a question regarding the deferred portion of the dowry (Mahr)*. Is the wife entitled to it only upon divorce or she can claim it even if divorce hasn`t taken place? Moreover, does she have the right to claim this portion after death of husband, even if he didn`t divorce her before that?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of The Worlds. May His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
In the marriage contract, it is recorded that the deferred portion of the dowry is due upon divorce or death, whatever comes first. If divorce took place first then the woman is entitled to it and if the husband died this amount must be paid from his estate. On the other hand, if the woman died then the husband becomes liable for this portion and it becomes part of the woman`s estate. We advise every husband to give this portion to his wife while alive because it is a right of hers. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* In Islam, a Mahr is the obligation, in the form of money or possessions paid by the groom, to the bride at the time of Islamic marriage (payment also has circumstances on when and how to pay). While the mahr is often money, it can also be anything agreed upon by the bride such as jewelry, home goods, furniture, a dwelling or some land. Mahr is typically specified in the marriage contract signed upon marriage.

An Arab young man had an illegitimate sexual relationship with a Christian American while she was staying in one of the Arab countries. After she returned to America, she told him that she had doubts that she was impregnated by him. It is worth pointing that it is hard for him to get a visa to the USA. What is the ruling of Sharia on this?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
Zina (Adultery and extramarital relations) is one of the grave sins that incur the wrath of Allah if the adulterer didn`t make immediate repentance. However, the child isn`t attributed to the adulterer. Rather, he/she is attributed to the woman who got pregnant by him and, according to Sharia, it isn`t considered a legitimate child of the adulterer. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

Should a woman who broke her fast because of delivery make up for missed fasting days before the next Ramadhaan, and what is the expiation due on her in case she delayed making up for them ?

She should make up for missed fasting days before the start of next Ramadhaan if possible, but if she didn`t while being able to, then she is obliged to make up for them along with feeding a needy person for each delayed day of the missed fasting days. However, if she wasn`t able to make up for the missed fasting days before the start of next Ramadhaan, she has to fast a day for every day that she missed, and no ransom is due on her.

My mother inherited a share from my late father`s and brother`s property; however, the inheritance, a piece of land, wasn`t divided amongst the eligible heirs because it was hard to sell. While alive, she used say that she wanted these shares to be distributed amongst the poor and needy. What is the ruling of Sharia on this?

All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds, and may His Peace and Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions.
This is a will, so we have to consider the estate she had left behind. If the piece of land, which she had willed, equals one third and less of her estate, then the will must be executed. But, if it is more than one third, then one third must be executed and the rest of the estate, if the heirs agreed, is to be executed  as part of her will as well. However, if the heirs haven`t approved of that, then what remains, excluding that one third, must be divided amongst them according to the Islamic rules of inheritance. Moreover, we recommend that you pay a visit to the Iftaa` Department to make things clearer for you. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.