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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

هذا المقال يعبر عن رأي كاتبه، ولا يعبر بالضرورة عن رأي دائرة الإفتاء العام

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Summarized Fatawaa

During Ramadan, a man had sexual intercourse with his wife. What is the expiation for that? And is he permitted to pay the expiation?

If a man has intercourse with his wife during the daytime in Ramadan, he must make up for that day and offer expiation. The expiation is fasting for two consecutive months. If he is unable to do so, he must feed sixty needy people. And Allah Knows Best.
 
 
 
 
 

What is the ruling on aborting a fetus affected by thalassemia?

Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
If this is recommended by a trustworthy doctor who is god-fearing and knowledgeable, then it is permissible to have an abortion because some types of thalassemia are dangerous while some aren`t. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

Is it permissible for a woman to say that she loves her husband more than her father?

It is impermissible for her to say so since this would hurt her father deep down. Allah, The Almighty, Says in this regard (What means): "And that ye be kind to parents." [Al-Isra/23]. Saying such a thing to her father isn`t an act of kindness since she should keep it to herself even if she felt that way.

A woman died at the age of ninety. Her living children are nine: two sons and two daughters. The youngest of her grandchildren, from her son who passed away one year before her, is aged thirty-two. Are these grandchildren entitled to the obligatory bequest although they are aged thirty-two and above?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
A Muslim isn`t obligated to leave a bequest to his grandchildren whose father had passed away; rather, this act is recommended. Therefore, if he left a bequest whereby they get less than one third of the estate then Allah will reward him for that. However, if he left no bequest for them then they get nothing because their paternal uncles are alive and they are closer to the deceased and more entitled to inherit him. This is the position of the four schools of Islamic jurisprudence. However, the Personal Status Law didn`t adopt this position; rather, it gave them the same amount to which their father is entitled when alive but his father or mother are dead; provided that it doesn`t exceed one third of the estate. Therefore, we advise them (Grandchildren) to relinquish this share of the inheritance. If not, then we advise their paternal uncles to overlook the amounts taken from their shares and given to their paternal nephews. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.