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To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

هذا المقال يعبر عن رأي كاتبه، ولا يعبر بالضرورة عن رأي دائرة الإفتاء العام

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is it permissible for us to sever ties of kinship if our blood-relatives` gatherings involve acts of sin?

Maintaining kinship ties is mandatory, thus if visiting your blood-relatives hinders their sinful acts , then you should do so. However, if their sinful acts persist while you are at their gathering, then it is sufficient that you maintain kinship ties via telephone and the like. And Allah Knows 

Is it permissible for the big brother to force his sisters to wear Hijjab (Islamic wear) if their father didn`t do his part in this regard ?

All Perfect Praise is due to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds

The father`s attention should be drawn gently and politely, and the sisters should also be reminded with good words since Allah, The Almighty, Says (What means): "O ye who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones." [Al-Tahreem/6]. And Allah Knows Best.

Is a wife considered sinful if she asked for divorce because her husband married another woman?

A second marriage is lawful, and so it is impermissible for you to ask for divorce because of that. If you are certain that you won`t be able to deliver Allah`s rights and those of your husband`s , then it is permissible for you to ask for Khul`a (Divorce on the demand of the wife). However, you should exercise patience since after difficulties, there is easiness by the will of Allah.

Does the wife have the right to stop her husband from visiting some of his relatives because their meetings involve religious violations?

Couples should advise one another in kindness, and the wife can stop her husband from committing sin by resorting to a kind and tactful approach.