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Parenting Training Skills
Author : Dr. Ahmad Al-Harasees
Date Added : 01-09-2022

Parenting Training Skills

 

 

Ibn 'Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said: "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects, the man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects." [Agreed upon], hence the duty of parents for the care and education of their children. Nowadays, the need for training parents on parenting skills has increased to enable them to create a physically, intellectually, and spiritually integrated and balanced generation. Traditional upbringing and simulating the methods of our fathers and mothers are not suitable for this time and generation because of the changes that society has undergone at all levels. These changes have influenced the structure of the family and the upbringing patterns, leading parents to puzzle over simulating the strict parenting style on the one hand and the modern style that rests on understanding the needs and desires on the other.

It must be admitted that the majority of today`s generation is completely aware of its rights and doesn`t believe in the old parenting style applied to them. All these changes and the information revolution compel parents to change their methods of upbringing their children to achieve the desired objective.

 

Here, I will mention some parenting skills that should be known and activated in educational administration.

1- Learning the stages of child`s development as well as his/her behavior and needs during them.

2- Considering the motivation of children an observable lifestyle.

3- Learning effective positive methods for handling wrong behavior.

4- Using effective methods for communicating with the children.

 

Educators are aware of all these changes, so it is imperative to deal with the modern educational methods. Someone once said: "Teach your children how to survive in times different from those you have experienced." Passage of time, events, developments, and change in generation require educators to employ flexibility in dealing with children. It was also said: "People are the product of their era, not that of their fathers`." Obviously, these saying stress the previous concept.

Here, some may ask: "Does keeping abreast with changes an

 

 

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Summarized Fatawaa

I`m a married young man. I fell in love with a widow and proposed to her but her family refused because they feared that this would have an adverse impact on the future of her children. However, we entered into unregistered marriage and told my family and even my wife about it. I`m a person who fears Allah, The Almighty and want to clear myself from any liability before Him, The Exalted. What should I do?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of The Worlds. May His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
It is imperative that you proclaim this marriage to preserve rights. Therefore, you must register it in an Islamic court. A second marriage isn`t forbidden, however, if the unregistered marriage had taken place without the consent of the woman`s guardian nor the presence of two honorable witnesses, then it is considered void and your relationship with this woman is forbidden. Therefore, you must conclude a new marriage contract with the approval of her guardian and the presence of two honorable witnesses. We advise you to fear Allah and adhere to the teachings of Sharia in this regard since sinful conduct is that which turns in your heart (making you feel uncomfortable) and you dislike that it would be disclosed to other people. And Allah The Almighy Knows Best.

Is it permissible for the woman who is observing Iddah after the death of her husband to exchange calls with her relatives and husband`s family call?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
It is permissible for the woman who is observing Iddah* after death of husband to exchange calls with them; however, when she speaks to non-Mahrams , she shouldn`t be soft of speech and she should be straight to the point. This because Almighty Allah Says (What means): "O ye wives of the Prophet! Ye are not like any other women. If ye keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft of speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease aspire (to you), but utter customary speech." [Al-Ahzaab/32]. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
 

 [1] The iddah is a waiting period that a Muslim woman observes after the death of her husband or after a divorce. The Quran says: For those men who die amongst you and leave behind wives, they (the wives) must confine themselves (spend iddah) for four months and ten days.

Is it permissible for a woman to swear a false oath by the Holy Quran to please her distrustful husband?

It is forbidden for a person to do so since this is considered a false oath (Yamaan Ghamoos) which dips (Yaghmos) its taker in Hellfire if he/she doesn`t seek repentance, and he/she has to expiate for that oath. You should avoid any doubtful acts so that your husband`s chest remains clear from the evil suggestions of the devil.

 By slip of the tongue, my son cursed Allah. It is worth pointing that he has concluded his marriage contract recently, but haven`t consummated the marriage. What is the position of Sharia on this? 

All perfect praise be to AllahThe Lord of The Worlds and may His Peace and Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions. 
This person must return to the fold of Islam by uttering the two testimonies of faith and making repentance to Allah from all acts that lead to disbelief. Also, he must make a new marriage contract because the old one was dissolved after he had committed this act of disbelief. Moreover, since there is no waiting period for his wife, then she is in state of Talaq ba`en baynona Soghra (Minor irrevocable divorce); consequently, she can get back to him only by a new marriage contract. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best. 

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