I have been married for five years. My husband has two sons from his first marriage. Nevertheless, I took care of his children, and gave birth to a baby boy who is now three years old. Unfortunately, we keep fighting all the time; sometimes over his two sons and sometimes over his family. If I serve his family members and praise them, he treats me kindly. If I don`t, he turns my life into living hell. What should I do?
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His Peace and Blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions.
Spouses should live with each other on a footing of kindness and equity. In your case, constructive dialogue is the best course of action. We advise you to be patient, commit your affair to Allah and ask Him to help you. We also recommend that you seek the help of the people of goodness and make them fix things between you and your husband. If all attempts for reconciliation fail then go to court, but we remind you that a problem, which could be solved with a beautiful word, is no problem at all, so praise family and children and try your best to win their hearts. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
I have a question regarding the deferred portion of the dowry (Mahr)*. Is the wife entitled to it only upon divorce or she can claim it even if divorce hasn`t taken place? Moreover, does she have the right to claim this portion after death of husband, even if he didn`t divorce her before that?
All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of The Worlds. May His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
In the marriage contract, it is recorded that the deferred portion of the dowry is due upon divorce or death, whatever comes first. If divorce took place first then the woman is entitled to it and if the husband died this amount must be paid from his estate. On the other hand, if the woman died then the husband becomes liable for this portion and it becomes part of the woman`s estate. We advise every husband to give this portion to his wife while alive because it is a right of hers. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* In Islam, a Mahr is the obligation, in the form of money or possessions paid by the groom, to the bride at the time of Islamic marriage (payment also has circumstances on when and how to pay). While the mahr is often money, it can also be anything agreed upon by the bride such as jewelry, home goods, furniture, a dwelling or some land. Mahr is typically specified in the marriage contract signed upon marriage.
Is it permissible to divide the Aqeeqah amongst one`s brothers and family?
Giving a portion of the Aqeeqah, even a small one, to the poor and needy is obligatory, and if one`s brothers and family are among the needy then, they are more entitled to it, and this way it is a charity and an observation of kinship ties. However, if they aren`t needy then, it is permissible to give them from the Aqeeqah after giving the poor and needy their share.
Is it permissible to give the expiation due on the vow of anger to one person?
The expiation for the vow of anger-and that of the oath-is to be given to (10) needy persons, or a needy family of ten individuals, but giving it to one person is impermissible.