Question :

I`m twenty three, and a young man has proposed to me several times, but my family turned him down every time under the pretext that he isn`t educated whereas I hold a university degree. However, he is a good Muslim, has a noble character, owns a private business, and is well-off. Should I force my family to give the green light to this marriage? What is the opinion of Islam in this problem which has become a phenomenon where appearances, unfortunately, is what counts nowadays?

The Answer :

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.

If the suitor was someone whose religion and character are pleasing, then he has fulfilled the basic conditions stipulated in Sharia, as indicated by the Hadith where the Messenger of Allah said: "When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with comes to you then marry (her to) him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and discord (Fasad). They said: "O Messenger of Allah! What if there was something about him?" He said: "When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with comes to you then marry him." (And he (pbuh) said this three times)." {At-Tirmizi}.

The woman proposed to as well as her guardian have the final say as regards the appearance, the financial status, and the education of the suitor. If they believe that overlooking these is to the woman`s best interest, then there is no harm in approving of the marriage, but if they believe otherwise, then it is up to them not to approve of it.

The view that we adopt in our Fatwa Department is that a guardian who approves to marry his daughter, sister..etc. to someone whose religion and character he is pleased with, then he has fulfilled the trust, and he won`t regret that Insha`Allah. And Allah Knows Best.