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Scary Questions about Severance of Kinship Ties
Author : Dr. Mohammad bani Taha
Date Added : 01-11-2022

Scary Questions about Severance of Kinship Ties

 

Am I banned from entering Jannah (Paradise) because I don`t maintain kinship ties? Does this apply to me? Is it true that my deeds will neither be presented before Allah nor accepted by Him? Such scary questions haunt most people, so they send them to the Iftaa` Department via social media. 

 

In fact, there is a number of motivations for posing such questions; the most important of which are:

 

First: Religiosity, thanks to Allah. This is embodied in hoping to win the pleasure of Allah in this world and the next life and fearing to be deprived from His mercy.

Second: There are many texts from the Quran and the Prophetic Sunnah warning against severance of kinship ties and harboring enmity, and that Allah won`t accept the deeds of kinship-ties severer and will deprive him/her from His mercy.

Third: Arguments and disagreements leading to enmity and severance of kinship ties.

Relieving the questioner's` fear can be achieved through assuring them that being afraid of the warning against those who harbor enmity and sever kinship ties is a sign of righteousness reflecting firm belief and closeness to Allah. This can also be done through explaining the qualities of the individual liable for this warning by interpreting the Sharia texts that dwelled on this theme. The most salient of these texts are:

- Sura 13, Verse No. (25)" But those who break the Covenant of God, after having plighted their word thereto, and cut asunder those things which God has commanded to be joined, and work mischief in the land;- on them is the curse; for them is the terrible home!."

- The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Anyone who cuts off relationship from his nearest relatives will not enter Paradise." [Agreed upon].

- The Hadith reported by Al-`Amash in [Jami` Mu`ammar Bin Rashi, vol.11/pp.174].

- Abu Huraim reported Allah's Messenger (PBUH) as saying: "The deeds of people would be presented every week on two days, viz. Monday and Thursday, and every believing servant would be granted pardon except the one in whose (heart) there is rancor against his brother and it would he said: Leave them and put them off until they are turned to reconciliation." {Transmitted by Muslim}.

 

Abu Musa al-`Ash‘ari (May Allah Be Pleased with him) reported God’s Messenger as saying: "God most high looks down on the middle night of Sha'ban and forgives all His creatures, except a polytheist or one who is hostile." [Ibn Majah, vol.1/pp.44].

 

After careful consideration of these texts and scholars` commentaries on them, it is made clear that the one deserving the above-mentioned warning must meet the following conditions:

 

1- Deeming severance of kinship ties lawful without a valid excuse or doubtfulness although he/she knows that it is unlawful. The eminent scholar Al-Khastalani said: "The person referred to in this regard is the one who deems severance of kinship ties lawful without a valid excuse or doubtfulness although he/she knows that it is unlawful." [Shareh Al-Khastalani].

 

2- Severance of kinship ties for a worldly interest. However, doing so out of enjoining kindness and forbidding iniquity to please Allah and be admitted into Jannah excludes such person from this warning. However, this is provided that the rules of enjoying kindness and forbidding iniquity are observed. Of course, this should be done with wisdom and fair preaching.

 

3- Maintaining kinship ties doesn`t result in moral or material harm. It was narrated from Hudhaifah, that The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "It is not for the believer to humiliate himself." They said: "How does he humiliate himself?" He said: "By taking on a trial which he can not bear." [Sunn At-Tirmithi, vol.4/pp.523].

 

4- Transgressing against near relatives, harboring hatred and enmity towards them, intending every evil for them, and depriving them from any benefit in this life and the next. However, the one who means them no harm and keeps kinship ties at the minimum, for example greeting with Asalamu Alikum, is relieved from the above-mentioned warning. Commenting on Sahih Al-Bukhari, Ibn Battal cited the words of Tabari who said: "The one who keeps kinship ties at minimum, such as greeting with AsalamuAlikum, isn`t considered a severer of kinship ties. Therefore, who is the person intended by the Hadith? He said: the one who deserts near relatives, harbors enmity towards them and deprives them from any benefits in this life and the next."

 

5- Being contented with severing kinship ties and harboring enmity towards near relatives without exerting every effort possible to set the records straight and make reconciliation. However, the one who tries to bring these ties to normal and make reconciliation, even if the other party refuses, isn`t considered a severer of kinship ties. This is because he has done his part and, as well known, Allah burdens not a soul beyond its scope.

 

One should remember that the Quran and the Sunnah contain multiple texts that call for forgiving others, overlooking mistakes, and cleansing hearts from hatred and enmity. This is since The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "It is not lawful for a Muslim to desert (stop talking to) his brother beyond three nights, the one turning one way and the other turning to the other way when they meet, the better of the two is one who is the first to greet the other." [Agreed upon].

 

This way, fear and despair are eliminated and a person is motivated to eliminate all causes of enmity and severance of kinship ties to keep the society united against all attempts of sowing the seeds of discord amongst its members. This achieves the intention of the Lawgiver in establishing a society in which people`s dignity, property, and blood are considered inviolable.

 

 

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Summarized Fatawaa

What is the Iddah period upon death of husband? What is the ruling when the woman observing Iddah after death of husband leaves her home to visit relatives although her Iddah hasn`t ended? What is the ruling on her wearing gold during Iddah period?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
For a woman whose husband has died, the 'Iddah*  is four months and ten days after the death of her husband. If a woman is pregnant, the 'Iddah lasts until she gives birth. Moreover, she has to mourn, not wear gold, perfume nor saffron-colored garment. The evidence on this is that The Prophet (PBUH) said: "It is not lawful for a Muslim woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for more than three days, except for her husband, for whom she should mourn for four months and ten days." [Agreed upon]. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
 
*The iddah is a waiting period that a Muslim woman observes after the death of her husband or after a divorce. The Quran says: For those men who die amongst you and leave behind wives, they (the wives) must confine themselves (spend iddah) for four months and ten days.

Is it incumbent on a wife whose husband hasn`t gone to bed with her(for sexual intercourse) for many years to observe `Iddah(waiting period) upon his death?

Upon the death of the husband, a wife is obliged to observe the `Iddah even if he hadn`t slept with her because she inherits him.

How should I be kind to my atheist father?

Allah, The Exalted, has decreed that we be kind to our parents, even if they are polytheists, by honoring and obeying them in all that isn`t sinful, so that they might love Islam and embrace it as a result.

Is a woman`s nephew by suckling considered a Mahram( i.e. unmarriageable)who is permitted to accompany her to Hajj?

All that is prohibited by lineage is prohibited by suckling, and a nephew by suckling is a Mahram like a nephew by lineage ;therefore, it is permissible for him to be a Mahram for his aunt in Hajj and Umrah.