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Forbearance is the Basis for Dealing with Allah`s Creation
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 04-01-2021

Forbearance is the Basis for Dealing with Allah`s Creation

 

 

A group of people thinks that sternness, mercilessness, anger and violence embody strength or manhood and they give a person control over different situations, however, this is incorrect. In principle, forbearance, leniency and kindness are the basis for dealing with others and they bring hearts and minds together. Allah The Almighty Says (What means): "It is part of the Mercy of Allah that thou dost deal gently with them Wert thou severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about thee: so pass over (their faults), and ask for (Allah's) forgiveness for them; and consult them in affairs (of moment). Then, when thou hast taken a decision put thy trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)." [Al-Imran/159]. Thus, kindness, leniency and forbearance pass on to the next generations and love bears the fruit of righteousness, which is the golden key for the hearts of all people.

 

Therefore, in several narrations, Prophet (PBUH) urged Muslims to observe forbearance and kindness when dealing with others. This is in order for a Muslim to have self-control and become a successful role model in his relations with others: in-laws, children, neighbors, and colleagues…etcetera. 'Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Whenever forbearance is added to something, it adorns it; and whenever it is withdrawn from something, it leaves it defective." [Moslim].

 

Moreover, 'Aisha (May Allah Be Pleased with her), the wife of Allah's Apostle (PBUH), reported that Allah's Messenger (PBUH) said: "'Aisha, verily Allah is Kind and He loves kindness and confers upon kindness which he does not confer upon severity and does not confer upon anything else besides it (kindness)." [Moslim].

 

In addition, Jarir b. 'Abdullah (May Allah Be Pleased with him) reported Allah's Apostle (PBUH) as saying:

"He who is deprived of tenderly feelings is in fact deprived of good and he who is deprived of tenderly feelings is in fact deprived of good." [Moslim].

 

Since violence usually stems from anger, our Prophet (PBUH) forbade it and commanded us not to get angry. He (PBUH) said: "On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him): A man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): "Counsel me, so he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Do not become angry." The man repeated [his request for counsel] several times, and [each time] he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Do not become angry." [Al-Bukhari]. 

 

Furthermore, Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "The strong man is not the one who wrestles, but the strong man is in fact the one who controls himself in a fit of rage." [Al-Bukhari].

 

Kindness, leniency and forbearance are the bricks of healthy human relationships and each Muslim should maintain his different relations according to this scale. And Allah is the One Who Bestows all that is good. 

 

هذا المقال يعبر عن رأي كاتبه، ولا يعبر بالضرورة عن رأي دائرة الإفتاء العام

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Summarized Fatawaa

Is it permissible for me to make up for my late father`s missed fasts? and should I make an intention to this end by saying: "I intend to make up for my late father`s missed fasts ."?

It is permissible to fast on behalf of the deceased father in order to make up for his missed fasts, and you should make the intention for offering fast from night time, but uttering the intention isn`t a condition. And Allah Knows Best.

I have asked a marriage official to conclude my marriage since I have no proxy and, being an adult, I can act as the proxy of myself, but he refused. What should I do?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May Allah`s peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
In order for a marriage to be valid there must be a Wali (Guardian) for the woman: father, brother, paternal uncle or any paternal relative. If there isn`t any, then the judge can act as the woman`s guardian and conclude the marriage contract. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

What is the Islamic ruling when parents oblige their son or daughter to divorce or marry, and this actually takes place, although it is against their will?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
When the husband utters the word of divorce, without being forced or threatened, divorce takes place and we recommend that you visit the General Iftaa` Dept. to be given the suitable advice in this regard. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

A woman has asked her husband for Khulu`, her gold, deferred portion of the dowry and furniture. Is she entitled to that, knowing that her husband doesn`t want to divorce her?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
Khulu`* can`t takes place save before a judge of Sharia and he has the authority to make the suitable decision in this matter. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* Khulu' is when parties agree to separate by way of consent, usually upon terms such as the wife agreeing to repay her Mahr (dowry) to the husband upon him agreeing to grant Talaq. The iddah period (waiting time after a divorce) of a woman who seeks a khula, is one menstrual cycle or one month if she is post-menopause i.e. ceased menstruating. This is to ensure she is not pregnant. This differs from when a man gives a talaq; the iddah period is three cycles or three months.

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