Is Iddah (waiting period) incumbent on an old woman whose husband had died?

Upon the death of the husband, Iddah is incumbent on the wife regardless of their age. And Allah Knows Best.

Is washing the private part after urinating (Istinjaa`) a condition, and is it done with water and soap, or with water only?

Istinjaa` is obligatory for removing impurity, and it can be done with toilet paper, or a stone, or water. It is preferable to do Istinjaa` first with paper, or stone, or the like, then to wash the private part with water until making sure that the impurity has been removed. Using soap is not a condition, but there is no harm in doing so provided that it is washed off with water. It is also permissible to use either water, or paper if impurity is removed by any.

Does fasting on behalf of a deceased person permissible?

Fasting on belhaf of a deceased person is permissible, since the Prophet (PBUH) said: "Whoever dies while he still has some fasts to make up (of the days of Ramadan), then his heir (any of them) should fast on his behalf." [Agreed upon]. The previous answer is for making up missed obligatory fasts on behalf of the deceased. But if the fasting on behlaf of the deceased was for performing  a voluntary acts of devotion such as fasting....is permissible as adopted by the majority of Muslim scholars and based on the above hadith as they stated "Every good dead intended to be on behalf of the deceased its reward will reach the latter." And Allah Knows Best.  

I am a disabled woman who has vaginal discharges and can`t control her urine. Therefore, I combine prayers. Is that permissible?

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his family and companions.

According to the Hanbali doctrine, it is permissible for the sick to combine prayers. In your case (Asker), it is better that you delay the noon prayer until a few minutes before the afternoon prayer in order to minimize the time span between the two and perform each alone. In addition, you can do the same with sunset and evening prayers. Finally, we ask Allah to bless you with recovery. And Allah Knows Best.