Is it permissible to pay the Zakah to my grandmother who lives alone in a rented accommodation with bad conditions noting she had three sons. 

Zakah cannot be given to ascendants (parents and grandparents). It is obligatory for her sons and grandsons to provide for her, and they would be sinful if they fail to do so. And Allah Knows Best.

Generally speaking, I`m dutiful to my mother and opt for obeying her. However, she chose a certain girl to be my future wife, but I`m not pleased with her choice although that girl comes from a good family and enjoys good character. Should I obey my mother or choose another girl that lives up to my expectations?

Praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds.

One must obey their parents in whatever is in compliance with the teachings of Sharia and within one`s capacity. However, you aren`t to blame for not marrying that girl, but it is better that you tell your mother about that and it is preferable that you perform Istikharah prayer. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.

What is the best manner in distributing the meat of the Aqeeqah?

It is better to divide all of it as cooked meat amongst the poor and the needy. Dividing it into three portions is a Sunnah, but it is permissible to keep all of it provided that a portion, even a small one, is given to the poor and needy (one kilo for example).

Is it permissible to swear by (Allah "The Living")?

Yes, it is permissible because "The Living" is one of Allah`s Attributes.