Is it permissible to give to the poor from among the People of the Book from the Udhiyah?
Praise be to Allah, and prayers and peace be upon our Master the Messenger of Allah.
It is permissible to give to the poor among the People of the Book from a voluntary sacrifice (uḍḥiyyat taṭawwuʿ), just as it is permissible to give charity (ṣadaqah) to them. This opinion is a view (wajh) within the Shāfiʿī school, which was favored by al-Muḥibb al-Ṭabarī and Imam al-Nawawī. [See: Ḥāshiyat Ibn Qāsim al-ʿAbbādī ʿalā Tuḥfat al-Muḥtāj (Vol.9/P.365)]. And Allah Almighty knows best.
Is it permissible for a wife to give her money to her family as a charity, or a gift without asking her husband, or seeking his consent?
The wife has the right to give her money as a charity, or a gift to her family, or to other people after consulting her husband out of respect, and this is the meaning of treating on footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, if he wanted to stop her from helping her family, then there is no harm in not telling him.
Is it permissible for a woman to shake hands with her brother-in-law?
It is forbidden for the woman to shake hands with her brother-in-law because he isn`t a Mahram (unmarriageable) of hers.
Does buying meat equivalent to the weight of a slaughtered animal and distributing it avail for an udhiyah?
Praise be to Allah, and prayers and peace be upon our Master the Messenger of Allah.
That does not avail for the sacrifice (uḍḥiyyah), because the sacrifice necessarily requires slaughtering an animal from the category of anʿām (camels, cattle, and sheep/goats) within a specified time.
Rather, that is considered a form of charity (ṣadaqah) for which one is rewarded. And Allah Almighty knows best.