I`m a mother of three orphans. Is it permissible for me to spend on myself from their salary, such as buying a Jilbab*?
All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
It is permissible to take a reasonable amount that is equal to your services to them. However, it is better that you don`t. The evidence on this is that Almighty Allah Says (What means): "Make trial of orphans until they reach the age of marriage; if then ye find sound judgment in them, release their property to them; but consume it not wastefully, nor in haste against their growing up. If the guardian is well-off, Let him claim no remuneration, but if he is poor, let him have for himself what is just and reasonable. When ye release their property to them, take witnesses in their presence: But all-sufficient is God in taking account." [An-Nisa`/6]. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* A full-length outer garment, traditionally covering the head and hands, worn in public by some Muslim women.
Is it obligatory for a wife who has been abandoned for many years to observe the waiting period (iddah) after her husband passes away?
If her husband passes away, the wife is required to observe the waiting period (Iddah), even if he had abandoned her, because she is his wife and inherits from him, so she must observe the iddah after his death. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible to swear by (Allah "The Living")?
Yes, it is permissible because "The Living" is one of Allah`s Attributes.
What is the ruling on having brotherly ties between a strange man and a strange woman, and is the former considered a Mahram (unmarriageable) to the latter?
Such a relation between a strange man and a strange woman is forbidden in Islam because it involves forbidding what Allah has allowed by marriage, and allowing what Allah has forbidden such as looking and the like. Such a relation doesn`t render any act lawful between them, thus they are forbidden to look at each other, have a Khulwah (seclusion), and travel together.