Articles

To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism......
Author : Dr. Hassan Abu_Arqoub
Date Added : 13-09-2022

......To Insulate Yourself from Negative Criticism

 

Although we work a lot and hard, some people criticize us, sometimes mercilessly. However, this criticism could be just, but mostly it isn`t. Therefore, how can we protect ourselves against negative, damaging criticism?

Some say: If you want to be spared from criticism, don`t work. Some interpret this statement in the negative sense, and that is standing idly although people also criticize the inactive person as well and accuse them with laziness. The intended meaning is that you have to keep working and ignore criticism, because people will never let you be.

You will never be spared from criticism because in this life there is the envier, the hater, the lazy, the idle, and the helpless; all of whom don`t wish you success because of they are driven by ill psychological motivations.

The envier and the hater may try to imitate you to reach the same rank that you have reached, but couldn`t for some reason or that time hasn`t come yet. Therefore, instead of intensifying their efforts and working harder, they tend to undervalue your efforts and pin defects on you thinking that stigmatizing makes them look superior, but not a chance! Because of envy and hatred, they wouldn`t hesitate to assassinate your character and frame you, so ignore them and continue with your journey of success.

As for the lazy, the idle, and the helpless, each doesn`t exert the effort needed for success. Instead, they keep criticizing the success of others. For example, they start saying that so and so reached their position through favoritism, paying bribes, and selling their faith and conscience, in addition to other falsehoods. The aim is to show that you aren`t successful had it not been for luck and perverted methods, dismissing that you are a successful, self-made man. Just ignore them and carry on with your success.

This life is replete with such sick people and we may not be able to change them. However, we can deal with their negative devastating opinions by ignoring them altogether. This may be hard at first, but eventually one gets used to it.

Personally, I was saddened the first time I was criticized, and got depressed for some time. However, I remembered that the Prophets (PBUT) and the righteous were subjected to insults from their own people, but they endured and continued conveying their Message with love. They are our role model, so nowadays whenever I`m criticized-unjustly- I turn a blind eye, laugh, pray that Allah forgives that person, and declare forgiving them so that they aren`t held accountable for that criticism and punished because of me.

It doesn`t matter what they say about you, what matters is your attitude from their ability to get to your mind and nerves. Here, I remind that one should wear a protective shield made of ignoring and self-confidence to stop those devastating words from targeting one`s heart and mind causing one to die from frustration and anger.

In conclusion, water can`t cause the boat to sink unless it reaches its inside. If it doesn`t reach the inside, the boat keeps floating on the water. You should learn to be as such by preventing offensive words from reaching your soul, mind, or heart. Rather, float on them and continue your journey of success.

 

The published article reflects the opinion of its author

Article Number [ Previous | Next ]

Read for Author




Comments


Captcha


Warning: this window is not dedicated to receive religious questions, but to comment on topics published for the benefit of the site administrators—and not for publication. We are pleased to receive religious questions in the section "Send Your Question". So we apologize to readers for not answering any questions through this window of "Comments" for the sake of work organization. Thank you.




Summarized Fatawaa

Is a wife considered divorced if her husband refused to go to bed with her (for sexual intercourse) for two months?

A wife doesn`t get divorced no matter for how long her husband refuses to have sex with her, and she had better go to court.

I suffer from absentmindedness and constant worries during prayer, what should I do?

You should take refuge in Allah from the whispers of the devil and life worries. You should also seek Allah`s help and offer a lot of Istigfar (seeking the forgiveness of Allah). And Allah Knows Best.

I have a question regarding the deferred portion of the dowry (Mahr)*. Is the wife entitled to it only upon divorce or she can claim it even if divorce hasn`t taken place? Moreover, does she have the right to claim this portion after death of husband, even if he didn`t divorce her before that?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of The Worlds. May His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
In the marriage contract, it is recorded that the deferred portion of the dowry is due upon divorce or death, whatever comes first. If divorce took place first then the woman is entitled to it and if the husband died this amount must be paid from his estate. On the other hand, if the woman died then the husband becomes liable for this portion and it becomes part of the woman`s estate. We advise every husband to give this portion to his wife while alive because it is a right of hers. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* In Islam, a Mahr is the obligation, in the form of money or possessions paid by the groom, to the bride at the time of Islamic marriage (payment also has circumstances on when and how to pay). While the mahr is often money, it can also be anything agreed upon by the bride such as jewelry, home goods, furniture, a dwelling or some land. Mahr is typically specified in the marriage contract signed upon marriage.

Is it permissible for a father to divide his property amongst his children except one under the pretext that he has paid for the latter`s tuition? This is knowing that his other children were given the opportunity to pursue their education but didn`t because they were educationally poor. Moreover, is he allowed to give his other children who have helped him with growing his business?

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May Allah`s peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
The father should be just between his children as regards gifts, in case they had similar circumstances. However, if any had a special merit, then it is permissible for the father to take that into account to be just. For example, giving his children who have helped in making his fortune and received no reward for that or giving the little ones because they haven`t taken as much as the older ones or giving the sick child who is unable to make a living. The most important thing is achieving justice. Moreover, the father is not interdicted by any of his children, and he is free to do whatever he wants with his money and Allah will call him to account as regards observing justice between his children. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.