Is it incumbent on the fiancée to obey her fiancé?
When the woman settles in her husband`s house, it is incumbent on him to provide for her and it is incumbent on her to obey him. Before that, and if the marriage contract had been concluded, then she is lawfully his wife and thus she should abide by custom in treating him, but if the marriage contract hadn`t been concluded, then she should treat him as a non-Mahram (Marriageable).
Is it permissible to thin the eyebrows or remove them and draw in their place?
Thinning the eyebrows, removing them, and drawing in their place—known as Namas—is prohibited. The Prophet (peace be upon him) cursed those who do it. And Allah Knows Best.
Is it permissible for the young woman to turn the suitor down if she had no feelings for him?
Yes, it is permissible for her to do so.
I`m a mother of three orphans. Is it permissible for me to spend on myself from their salary, such as buying a Jilbab*?
All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.
It is permissible to take a reasonable amount that is equal to your services to them. However, it is better that you don`t. The evidence on this is that Almighty Allah Says (What means): "Make trial of orphans until they reach the age of marriage; if then ye find sound judgment in them, release their property to them; but consume it not wastefully, nor in haste against their growing up. If the guardian is well-off, Let him claim no remuneration, but if he is poor, let him have for himself what is just and reasonable. When ye release their property to them, take witnesses in their presence: But all-sufficient is God in taking account." [An-Nisa`/6]. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.
* A full-length outer garment, traditionally covering the head and hands, worn in public by some Muslim women.