Is it incumbent on the fiancée to obey her fiancé?
When the woman settles in her husband`s house, it is incumbent on him to provide for her and it is incumbent on her to obey him. Before that, and if the marriage contract had been concluded, then she is lawfully his wife and thus she should abide by custom in treating him, but if the marriage contract hadn`t been concluded, then she should treat him as a non-Mahram (Marriageable).
Is it permissible for household members to pool money for the Udhiyah and gift it to one of them?
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is permissible for members of a household to pool their money together and gift the total amount to one individual among them so that he may offer the sacrifice (Udhiyah). In this case, the family members receive the reward for giving charity (Sadaqah), and the one performing the sacrifice includes them in the spiritual reward (Thawab).
Furthermore, slaughtering a single sheep (on one's own) is considered religously better than participating as one of seven people in the sacrifice of a cow or a camel. And Allah the Almighty knows best.
Are the mother's maternal and paternal uncles, and the father's maternal and paternal uncles, considered among the unmarriageable kin (Maharim)?
Praise be to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
A mother’s maternal uncle and her paternal uncle, as well as a father’s maternal uncle and his paternal uncle, are all considered among the unmarriageable kin (Maharim). And Allah the Exalted knows best.
What should the one performing the slaughter say at the time of slaughtering the 'aqīqah?
All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon our Master, the Messenger of Allah.
It is Sunnah to say the following supplication at the time of slaughtering the 'aqīqah:
"Bismillāhi wallāhu Akbar, Allāhumma laka wa ilayka, hādhihi 'aqīqatu fulān."
("In the name of Allah, and Allah is the Greatest. O Allah, this is for You and unto You — this is the 'aqīqah of [the child's name].")
This is based on what al-Bayhaqī narrated in Al-Sunan al-Kubrā (Vol.9/P.511), that the Prophet ﷺ said: "Slaughter it in his name and say: In the name of Allah, and Allah is the Greatest. O Allah, this is for You and unto You — this is the 'aqīqah of so-and-so."
And Allah Almighty knows best.