All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His Peace and Blessings be upo our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions.

When a husband says to his wife: "You are divorced," it counts as a divorce, even if he said it jokingly. The majority  of scholars are of the view that it does count as such, and they quoted as evidence the report narrated by Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: "The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are three matters in which seriousness is serious and joking is serious: marriage, divorce and taking back (one’s wife).” {Narrated byal-Tirmidhi}. In addition, this is the view of the scholars from amongst the companions of the Prophet (PBUH).

As for taking wife back, you (Questioner) have to visit the nearest Iftaa` office to deal with your case and we see no grounds for being embarrassed from coming to the office in person. One who cares about his marriage or divorce won`t hesitate to visit the Iftaa` office to be issued the correct ruling, Insha`allah. And Allah The Almighty Knows Best.