Date : 17-08-2009

Question :

I hold  a degree in engineering and have been working  in this   field for the past two years. A young man, head of a computing department, has  proposed to me. He is educated, financially stable and lives his in a house of his own next to my parents’. However, my parents refused him because he is less educated than me, doesn`t have a car at present and comes from a poor, wretched family. I feel so frustrated because I couldn`t  convince my parents to approve of him. Could you please  guide me to the right course of action?


The Answer :

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his family and companions.


A guardian  shouldn`t hesitate to marry his daughter/sister to the person whose religion and character are pleasing and refrain from making trivial excuses to hinder such marriage. This is in order to spare society, in general,  the hardship that results from such an attitude because the Prophet (PBUH) said (What means):" When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (someone under the care) of one of you, then marry to him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and abounding discord (Fasad)." {AtTirmithi}.


We recommend this father not to be deceived by fake worldly temptations  because they are transient, meaningless and won’t make his daughter happy since true happiness lies in fearing Allah and having good manners.


Furthermore,  a suitor should meet with the parents of the woman whom he plans to marry to avoid any emotional attachment on his or her part in case they weren`t destined to be together as husband and wife.


We recommended that you{asker} perform Istikhara(Guidance prayer), make a lot of Istighfar(seeking Allah`s forgiveness), send prayers upon the Prophet and adhere to the teachings of Sharia. And Allah the Almighty knows best.