Date : 18-01-2012

Question :

What is the interpretation of the narration about wife's abstaining from going to bed with husband? And does it apply to both spouses?


The Answer :

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of The Worlds, and may His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all of his family and companions.


Both spouses should live together on a footing of kindness where each fulfills their obligations towards the other as required by Sharia. Therefore, the wife is not permitted to abstain from going to bed with her husband without a valid excuse from Sharia, since the Prophet (PBUH) said (What means): "If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and thus he spends the night angry with her, the angels continue cursing her till the morning." [Agreed upon].


On the other hand, the husband should be keen on preserving his wife's chastity and decency. This can be done by satisfying her desires as a woman, including sexual needs, and to avoid leaving her as if she was hanging in the air, because Allah, The most Exalted Said (What means): "But turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding, and practise self- restraint, God is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful." [An-Nisa/129].


Furthermore, the aforementioned narration does not apply to both spouses; rather, it applies only to the wife who abstains from going to bed with her husband. Nonetheless, the husband should fear Allah when dealing with his wife since she is a trust with him. In return, she is obliged to obey him in what is religiously lawful.


In conclusion, we advise both spouses to fear Allah, resort to dialogue and turn to pious people to help them solve their issues or problems. And Allah the Almighty Knows Best.