Date : 14-07-2010

Question :

What is the ruling of Sharia on the woman who goes to sleep while her husband is angry with her, although he is the cause of the problem?


The Answer :

All perfect praise be to Allah the Lord of the Worlds. May His peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Mohammad and upon all his family and companions.


 


If the wife hasn`t done anything that Sharia forbade and her husband was the cause of the problem, then she isn`t considered sinful, even if he was angry with her. However, she is considered sinful in case she was negligent in performing her duties towards her husband.


The evidence on this is that Abu Umamah narrated that Allah's Messenger said: "There are three whose Salat would not rise up beyond their ears: The runaway slave until he returns, a woman who spends a night while her husband is angry with her, and a people's Imam whom they dislike." {Related by Tirmithi}.


However, if she sought to make reconciliation and tried to please him by waiving her right, then Allah will grant her a great reward since married life lasts through forgiveness and reconciliation; rather than inflexibility. Allah Says, in this regard, {What means}: "The recompense for an injury is an injury equal thereto (in degree): but if a person forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from God: for (God) loveth not those who do wrong." {Al-Shura, 40}. The evidence on this is that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said (What means): ………….Shall I not inform you about the women of Jannah? It is every fertile and loving. When she is angry or wronged or her husband is angry with her, she says to him I won`t sleep until you are satisfied." {Related by An-Nasai`i/Al-Sunan Al-Kubra.}


Women used to take the initiative in making reconciliation to spare their husbands any embarrassment, although the latter are the ones who started the quarrel. Similarly, men used to appreciate their women`s enduring their harm, and thus take the initiative of making reconciliation. This is attested to in the following Hadith: Abu Ayyub Al-Ansari (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "It is not lawful for a Muslim to desert (stop talking to) his brother beyond three nights, the one turning one way and the other turning to the other way when they meet, the better of the two is one who is the first to greet the other." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]. And Allah the Almighty Knows Best.